Winter Break Is Over

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I find myself sitting on my couch during one of the last nights of winter break, and I honestly don’t know how I feel. This break has been a wonderful time spent with family and friends. I’ve done some winter cleaning, spent time in the snow, ate some amazing food, and yes, planned for the next quarter. It has been a very full 2 weeks but I have truly enjoyed it. In my nine years of teaching I have always enjoyed this break and have felt revitalized and ready for the 2nd semester. The only difference this year? I don’t know if I feel ready to come back. Am I not prepared?

No, that’s not it.  I am physically ready to return. I have planned out my lessons, created the new seating chart, put together the incentives, prepared the review of behavior expectations, and even have my prints ready for the 1st week of school. On paper I’m ready. So then why don’t I FEEL ready? It it my student?

It is most definitely NOT the students. This year I have been honored with an AMAZING class. My students are so bright and kind. They respond well to my lessons, work cooperatively, think critically, analyze their own errors, and are pilots of their own learning.  I really did hit the jackpot with them!. So then why am I feeling more burnt out than I ever have before? 

It’s not the students, it’s not the lesson planning, and it’s not the teaching. It’s everything else. It’s the political pressure, the high responsibility and low appreciation, the lack of respect for the profession but intense scrutiny of the practice. It’s coming back from a pandemic without the structures or time provided to help the students AND TEACHERS get back to 100%. 

Of course I’m feeling burnt out. Of course I’m questioning if this is really what I want to continue doing. Over the last 2 weeks I have spent a ton of time looking at my students’ data and planning what would work best for them. And you know what, I loved every minute of it! I was able to go back to the core of teaching, the reasons why I wanted to be an educator. While I was planning and preparing I DID take a break. What I took a break from was all of the extra “responsibilities” that have found their way onto my plate. Those things that have nothing to do with teaching but have now become my duty. Those are the reasons I am not feeling ready to return to the classroom. Those are the reasons that so many AMAZING Educators are leaving the profession completely. 

Unfortunately, I don’t get to pick and choose which pieces I keep on my plate. That is not within my power. What I do have control over is which parts I choose to savor and enjoy. I LOVE teaching, so that is what I will focus on. I get to be back in the classroom with my ASTOUNDING students. I get to share with them these lessons that I created to meet their needs. I get to watch them continue to grow and direct their own learning that’s based on their individual passions. Now THAT, that I am ready for. 

Winter Break is over, and it’s time to head back to the classroom. As I move through the remainder of this year, I will focus on what I can control. I will be there for my students and I will fight for the rights and respect that they deserve, as well as what TEACHERS deserve. This break I was able to reflect on what it means to be an educator and what we, as professionals, deserve. So, I have made up my mind, I AM ready. I’m ready to return and make a difference in the lives and practices of both my students and my fellow educators.

Eriann Roberts

Eriann Roberts is a 4th Grade Gifted and Accelerated Teacher and Spirit Line Coach at Hartford Sylvia Encinas Elementary in the Chandler Unified School District. She has been teaching for 9 years and is currently working toward achieving her National Board Certification under Middle Childhood Generalist. She holds a Bachelor's degree in both General Elementary Education and Special Education from Northern Arizona University. Eriann is a member of the Arizona Teacher Solutions Team as well as the CUSD Equity Team.